“WHERE IS THE COACH?”- LET THAT BE YOUR FUEL

2018 Moment- I arrive to the field 30 minutes early. Set up cones or whatever warm up drills the team will be performing. I was dressed in the proper attire- uniform top, athletic pants, soccer turfs shoes. The assistant coach shows up as well. She is dressed the same.  We stand on the opposite side of the field where the team will be waiting for the players to start filing in. They come and stand around us, we get organized, I start giving them instructions and they follow. The other team shows up. There are male coaches, two, there is a male ref. We get closer to game time. I am approached by the other coach. Our interaction goes as follows: 

“WHERE IS THE COACH?” asks a coach from the opposing team, with slight panic because we are close to game time.

“YOU ARE LOOKING AT HER/ US” I respond with a smile.

“OH, I AM SORRY” he says.

“NO PROBLEM, NOT THE FIRST TIME” I reply

“GOOD LUCK” he states.

“SAME TO YOU! YOU MIGHT NEED IT MORE” with I say with a small wink and friendly, calm smile.

We shake hands, I walk away, and in my head and heart, the desire for the team to compete well and win becomes even stronger. This is an all too familiar interaction in this environment and I know I am not alone in this experience.  One of the best ways I learned to cope with these degrading moments is to- LET IT BE MY FUEL!

Nothing motivates me more to show up and give the team all I can from the sideline.  Watching the other team during warm ups assessing their players quickly for athleticism, technical skill, pace of play, I could see how well prepared my girls are to compete. We chose a formation and strategy to set up with the strongest match ups available. Coaching and supporting our team to play those extremely tough games in a fair, competitive, collected, and classy manner, seriously brings warmth and energy to my coaching soul! Especially, if the coaches of the other team start to lose it and become unglued.

I particularly remember one championship game, I was coaching solo, and before the game, the coach said to a mutual friend of ours “Oh it’s Kelly. I can not wait to beat her”. As the game progressed this coach was literally screaming and jumping up and down looking like he was trying to teach the girls jumping jacks or calisthenics from the sideline because he was so upset about losing. This was a U9 soccer team. His team was very good, aggressive, strong, and successful. Losing was not a common occurrence for them. He had very talented players. However, as we continued to gain momentum, the ego was crumbling in front of all of us which was tough to watch.

He did me a huge favor! After being told about what he said before starting, let me tell you- I LET THIS BE MY FUEL!!! And I watched his tank drain empty! I coached to help the players stay calm and focused, especially with the chaos his energy was bringing to the game. I made the adjustments in positions and formation as needed. Eventually I had to pick up my energy and expectations for my players to really zone in to play a game of fewer turnovers and more goals than the opponent. Our halftime talk was about mentality and grit, and we walked away champions of the tournament! The team showed sportsmanship and did not over celebrate, but enjoyed the win appropriately and we walked through the line to shake hands. This was a big win in more ways than one.

Believe in yourself in these moments. Trust your gut. Stay composed and confident. It takes strategy and focus in these types of games and your players will always feel your energy and vibrations. Even if we lost that game, the demonstration of accepting the challenge, rising up, and playing a competitive game in a classy and sportsman like manner is actually the true win no matter the score. As the leader your example and composure matters always! 

Be Confident,

Kelly